Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Day 2

Oh. My. God. Everything hurts! What fools we were yesterday, blithely wandering into a world of pain! Who knew walking could be so strenuous?! (Apart from those who read my account of it yesterday, only you know the true horrors of excersize, be warned!) I think stretching may be the key, but it's too late to worry about that now for today. After I crawled from my bed, already 4 minutes behind schedule as I had not accomodated for getting-out-of-bed-gasping-in-agony-with-muscles-I-didn't-even-know-I-had-screaming-at-me time, and hobbled down the stairs, one crippling flop at a time, I collapsed onto the sofa which was an error, as it then took 3 more minutes (and the help of Mam and Ed) to get me out again.
Dad then approached, at a slow and painfull speed, offering excuses from legs that felt broken to sore eyeballs as reasons why he should be excused from training today. I refused. I have the power to do so you see because in an exciting turn (following bitter sniping and bickering) yesterday I was appointed Training Captain; this means that I dictate time, location and distance of training, and am in charge of rallying thr troops... ah the power! This does mean though that I had to allow Eddie to take the role of Mountain Leader, which means that on the day he's in charge. I'm comforted by the fact that this event (should we make it) is still 6 months away, or 6 years, judging by the looks of me and Dad this morning.
 We have a sneaking suspicion however, that Eddie has given us a deceptive impression of his physical condition; while me and Dad clutch each other and stagger from the living room to kitchen, with the gait and pace of a pair of 90 year olds, Eddie springs spritely down the back steps and limbers up!
Owing to our route calculation disaster yesterday, Dad extensively googled last night and discovered that we actually walked 6 miles not 4. Because of this he demanded that we only walk 2 miles today to even out the average. Denied. So genuinely bright and early this time (09.32!) we set off again, not exactly the tenacious light hearted group we were yesterday, more a pair of waddling buffons, griping and groaning along, and Edward, smugly striding ahead... someones going to see himself shoved in a ditch... if I ever catch up to him (damn you tiny legs) Mam had made life even easier for herself by toddling along behind on her bike! I feel like a modern day suffragette, marching for women kind while she makes sandwiches in the background.
With youth on our side Ed and I ploughed ahead, calling back "keep up Dad!" with grunted replies of "I'm 51 years old you know!" (he had enough breath to complain but not to keep up with the pace) eventually we elected to drop back and match the speed of the slowest man, amidst much grumbling from Dad who would much rather we left him alone it seemed. The hightlight of the hike today came when the wind blew Eds hat off and he had to chase it into a field, I for one was filled with the warm sense of justice as he scrambled through the nettles. The next drama to rock our motley crew was Shoelace Gate; Dads shoe came undone and he was unable to bend down to fasten it. Edward, the secret athlete, although in the best posititon (i.e with enough muscle power) to bend down tie the lace in question and regain a standing position again, had to reveal a disturbing lack of shoelace tying skills, so precious time was wasted arguing, and then hoisting Dad back to an upright position once he had manged to grapple with the lace of doom.
In the mean time Mam had been having her own troubles; thinking the had found a clever way of avoiding any effort at all she had lashed the dog to her bike, and far from being blissfully pulled like some sort of cycling Inuit she was being dragged by our hyperactive terrier, squealing as the peddles smacked her as they whirred round beyond her control. Far from lagging behind us she nearly threw us all into the bushes ans she barged past, the dog running and barking happily, so good fun was had by all.
I am pleased to report that we completed the walk today only 9 minutes behind time, although it is not as yet known whether this was due to us having a route of a better (by which of course I mean shorter) length, or because 2 days in we have become walkers extrordinaire, move over Brian and Steve, those mountains aren't going to know whats hit them. And neither will Eddie as my fantasies of throwing him off one of the mountains grow daily.

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